I’ve been feeling a little stuck lately. A little uninspired. Even as I’m writing this post I keep changing and deleting and rewriting because it’s all sounding… wrong.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m not exactly where I want to be. And that’s not to say that I’m not happy. I have a wonderful husband and family; I have a great community of friends, both in everyday life and online, that mean a lot to me; I have more blessings than I can count and I’m very thankful for them.
I think I’ve had a hard time finding my “place.” Where do I fit in? What was I put here to do? I think having the Stolen Colon has been the one thing that has really gotten me through because it’s something that I feel I can contribute to and possibly make a difference with. It’s something that brings together everything I love into one place: writing, helping others with Crohn’s/IBD/ostomies, creativity. And if I could spend all of my time working on all of those things then I don’t think I’d feel this way.
But since I can’t, I have begun to wonder why I feel so uninspired. There are so many things around me every day that inspire me to be a better person and to become a better version of myself. So I’ve been sitting here remembering what some of those things are…
Beautiful words put down on paper
People who “should’ve” given up, but didn’t
A clean house
My best friend, Rea
A long run or swim where I feel I pushed past my limitations
My future kids
Stories of hard-work and perseverance
Two people who are truly in love
Selflessness and sacrifice
A message from someone who I was able to encourage
“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. ” 2 Corinthians 3:18
I have to focus on these types of things and let them be the fuel that pushes me forward. No matter where we are in life, there is always work to be done. I’m glad to have such wonderful examples of love, success, beauty and dedication in my life.
And let me ask you…
4 Comments
My eight year old son who lives with a stoma, being tube fed, multiple allergies and unbelievable amounts of pain every day and just keeps going forward.
July 12, 2013 at 6:34 amHe inspires us all. And he’s very lucky to have a mom like you to look after him.
July 12, 2013 at 8:35 amYour “Stolen Colon” is an inspiration and I wish you had been writing when I started my journey 12 years ago.
December 2, 2014 at 10:12 amI may not have lived through Crohn’s but have fought back from stage 4 rectal cancer and stage 2 lung cancer and now live with a colostomy. I am thankful as not many decades ago this would have been a death sentence and I would have never been able to see my daughters weddings and been able to know my grandchildren. Because of a loving wife and family and the blessings of our Lord I’m able to continue to enjoy life and all the activities that have made me who I am.
Living with a stoma is not an inconvenience it is a way to continue to live and give back to the community by being a mentor and an inspiration to those that suffer in silence.
Thank you for sharing this, Peter. It sounds like you have had quite the journey and I love hearing of all of the things you’ve been able to experience since having your surgery.
December 5, 2014 at 10:08 am