I am not the most patient of people. For this reason, I’ve always preferred to do projects myself and make the plans when with a group. It’s not that I feel I have to be in control. I just can’t deal with standing around while we discuss what to do next. I just want to do it.
I feel that I am in a bit of limbo at the moment. I’m trying to move forward, but there are so many unknowns at the moment that I don’t know what my next step should be. I know if “A” happens, then I need to move in this direction, but if “B” happens, then I need to go this way instead. If both happen, then I have to figure out how they’ll fit together. There are a number of scenarios out there that could drastically change my plans, and I don’t know what any of them are at the moment.
I don’t like waiting. I want an answer, even if it’s not the one I want, so I can deal with it and move on. But we don’t always get what we want.
I’m learning to be patient and to trust the powers that be to make the right decision and lead me down the right path. Patience is one of the fruit of the spirit and I think it’s one that often gets overlooked, because being impatient doesn’t equate in our minds with being “bad.” Being unkind and unfaithful are obvious to us as the wrong way to act. But impatience kind of slips under the radar.
I came across a quote several years back that really hit me and made me stop and think. I think there is a lot of truth in those words. Think about it: why do people steal? Because they are too lazy to work for the same money and are too impatient to receive it in smaller amounts. Why do people become angry? Because they have lost their ability to be patient with the person they are dealing with.
The last thing I want is to become a breeding ground for other sins by laying down a foundation of impatience. I’m really happy with where my life is now. There are so many times I have been impatient and worried about what would happen next, but in actuality, I don’t feel I have ever been lead in the wrong direction.
So I’m having to let go. I’m having to trust. I’m having to believe that there’s something better out there for me.