I had an awful day yesterday. And by awful, I mean one of the worst days I can remember in recent history. OK, so it’s not quite like when I was hardly able to get out of bed when I was sick, but it was still pretty bad.
It was just one thing after another. Mistakes made by me. Other problems where nobody was at fault. I was already feeling down about myself when one thing after another kept happening. Another frustrating and costly mistake. And to top it all off, towards the end of the day, when all I wanted was to go home and crawl into bed and forget the day had ever happened, here comes another whammy that kept Jarrod and me up for another couple of hours.
And this morning, I hoped to move into another day, but then as I’m about to walk out of the door, BAM! My coffee ends up all over the counter and the floor and a little of me. At this point I was just like “wow, the hits keep on coming.” Then, as I sat in my car in the parking lot at work, not wanting to walk inside because I was sure nothing good could be there, I realized I couldn’t take another day like the one before. So I gave it away. All of my worries, my fears, my frustrations. I knew I couldn’t hold onto them any more, so I let go.
And you know what? It turned out to be a pretty good day. Nothing too spectacular to begin with, but slowly, things began looking up. I had been struggling at work this month and I really didn’t think I was going to hit my numbers, which is not only disappointing by itself, but also would mean I wouldn’t get my bonus. But today, I not only hit my numbers, but I made it to the second bonus.
I also found out some exciting news from Team Challenge that I will share with you tomorrow!
And then at 2:17 this afternoon, I checked my email to find this:

I think I almost started crying right there in my office chair, just because I was so overwhelmed with how the day had turned around. I wasn’t expecting to hear back from the program for another couple of weeks, so this showing up in my inbox was a big surprise.
Just the other day I was saying how difficult it was to wait and to not know what to expect for the future. I now feel a little closer to knowing where I am going. I feel that I have a better grasp on   my life. And I’m not even 100% sure what’s going to happen with grad school. Jarrod and I have a lot of talking to do and things to figure out, but having this opportunity in front of me makes it very exciting.
And looking back over the past 48 hours is a good reminder of how quickly things can change – for worse or for better. But at the same time, worrying is not going to help. That’s a hard lesson for me to learn because it’s just my normal reaction. But now, I’m looking forward to what tomorrow brings. I know that I’m not where I want to be in my life. There are things that I wish I could change. And I’m going to keep moving towards those things that I want and become who I want to be. I wish it would happen faster, but I have to believe that things happen for a reason. And I’m right where I need to be right now.